Merry Christmas from Tara and Family
Hello everyone!
Today Dominic turns 45. This year also marks 20 years since I met him, which gives me a great excuse to digress to tell that story. I was on the verge of turning 21 (this gives my age away), and in Dublin on a programme from my university in Portland, Oregon. I excitedly dragged three of my friends out salsa dancing – who would have thought that there was such a salsa scene in Dublin back then. We managed to talk our way into The Gaiety and there was a live Cuban salsa band. I was just happy to be moving to the percussion’s rhythm when I was given one of the cheesiest pick-up lines, “Can you grant a dying man’s wish and teach me how to dance.” I didn’t know how best to say no, but I tried, and then gave him a brush off. But he didn’t give up; he came back and tried again, and quickly had me laughing and drawn into his charm. And there I was by the end of the night, taking his number.
He was such a romantic. Two days later a box of Butlers’ chocolate awaited me at my hotel. This was followed by romantic dinners, meandering walks on the beautiful Irish coast line, and original poetry with hidden messages of how he could not stop thinking about me. Our first film together was “Life is Beautiful”, though it became more of a family event, as we ended up sitting next to Nicky, his brother.
I had no choice but to fall head over heels with this kind, generous, smart and funny Irish man.
Since then our lives have been intrinsically connected. Around 10 years ago, when Dom turned 35, his birthday present from me was my positive pregnancy stick result. He could not have been more delighted. He was ready for fatherhood and couldn’t have been happier when Sonja arrived.
Yet, as they say, life throws curveballs, and for reasons that we didn’t intend, our lives diverged. Though, when I think of Dominic, what comes to mind are these incredible memories I have of the him prior to the accident. And these memories drive me to continue to find ways to keep our lives connected, though I must admit how hard it is to see him like this – it breaks my heart every time. Dominic needs me, he needs Sonja and he needs all of us to be his voice as he remains vulnerable in his silence and his inability to make his own choices.
It has been over a year since his last newsletter, so to celebrate the man we know and love on his birthday I thought it apt to give you an update on Dominic and also to appeal to you, to celebrate him and keep him in your thoughts.
On a final note, I also wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, and that I hope you all have a lovely holiday season.
-- Tara
Dominic’s Progress in 2019
The level of care and therapy that Dominic gets has made a difference to his well-being over the last year. The start of the year was hard for him, as Dominic was stiffer, seemed more uncomfortable and was losing weight. Due to the excellent team in Royal Hospital in Donnybrook and the extra therapy he was receiving, adjustments were made to his medication and care that helped address these issues. As a result, Dominic seems to be ending this year looking more physically relaxed. To top it off, he has regained his lost weight and is looking as well as he can. There has been no major changes in his level of consciousness or ability to communicate.
Throughout the year he has continued to enjoy his weekend visits from his father, which provide such important companionship to Dominic. He continues to enjoy visits from both his and Tara’s friends and family. He also has had some new regular visitors who did not know him so well before the accident, but were moved to visit him by Mary’s piece in the last newsletter. Sonja has also been bringing in her friends to him, so that they get a chance to meet her father. They often perform for him as well and have taken to the stage in the Hospital. Who knows, we may have to organise an official performance for them soon enough -- we are sure Dom would love this!
Happy Birthday Dad: A poem by Sonja Morrogh
45 big number I wish you could know it was your birthday.
You’re my dad one and only and at least I have met you and see you every week wish you were more capable but knowing you is nice.
Have the best birthday
Your one and only daughter Sonja
Annual Craft Fair
We cannot believe that we hosted our 7th annual craft sale. What a show of support we had from Tara, Sonja and Dominic’s friends and family. The story of this year’s event was about Sonja, Elena, Jimmy and all of Sonja’s local friends. They ran the show, from creating the crafts to managing the stalls, from tallying the sales (with a little help) to running an incredibly successful raffle. We want to say an especially big thanks to all of you who came, and for those who couldn’t make it, we hope to see you there next year.
How you can support Dominic
How the Trust Fund Supports Dominic and how you can support the Trust Fund:
Through your support, The Dominic Morrogh Trust Fund is able to make a big difference to Dominic’s comfort and care. Here are some ways that the resources you have helped raise for the Trust Fund directly helps Dominic:
Covering a portion of his care at the Royal Hospital Donnybrook: Individuals benefiting from the Government’s Fair Deal Nursing Home package have to make a contribution to the cost of their care, which the Trust pays for Dominic.
Health insurance: The Trust Fund pays for his health insurance, ensuring that if any medical need arises, he will have access to the needed treatment.
Enhanced level of Therapy: The Trust pays for all massage, amatsu, FeildenKrais and reflexology treatments for Dominic, which provide daily stimulation, movement and relaxation. Without this support, Dominic would only receive one hour of physio each week. Given his inability to move by himself, this support is vital to his physical comfort. These therapists, some of whom have been working with Dominic for over 5 years, are also an important link for Dominic to the world outside, as through them, he has at least one visitor a day to check in on him.
Innovation and equipment: The Trust also covers items like the standing chair, which has helped Dominic build up to an hour of standing. This again is important for his comfort and health.
Without your support, the Dominic Morrogh Trust would not be able to help Dominic in these ways. So, thank you so much for your support. We cannot emphasise how much we appreciate this and how much we continue to need your support.
If you are considering ways to support Dominic, setting up a standing order or organising a fundraiser is a great way to do this. The most sustainable method to help is by setting up a monthly standing order. We also welcome one off donations and fundraising events which are a fun and social way to raise funds for Dominic, as well as to bring awareness about Dominic and others in similar conditions.
Dominic's Response to Massage Therapy
My name is Ffion and I have been working with Dom for two years. When I first began working with him I found the challenge of working without feedback difficult. As massage therapists, we often unconsciously rely on affirmation in the form of positive words or expressions from our clients to feel accomplished in our work. It wasn’t long before I realised that Dom has his own way of communicating, albeit difficult to always decipher, he communicates through his muscles, facial expressions and movements. I practice gentle and holistic forms of massage on Dom – foot & leg massage, hand, arm & shoulder massage and face & head massage most commonly. More recently, I have been incorporating meditation and sensory awareness exercises with him, which I always feel he responds well to. Dom responds best when he is spoken to throughout the session, gentle facial touch and holding of the forehead and occipital bone, which is the site of Dom’s head injury, seems to be a winner for calming him down if he ever seems distressed or restless.
I believe that Dom is very sensitive to the energy of the people around him, especially when they are touching him. If I ever begin working on Dom while I’m not feeling great myself I find that he often doesn’t seem to enjoy the session very much. In comparison, when I work on Dom when I’m feeling centred and grounded I find that he resonates with that and the session flows well and we both are calm and relaxed afterwards. Over time, this has provided me with a great lesson in self-care. If I don’t take the time to fill up my own cup and keep my own emotional life in check, then I can’t offer others what I’m not giving myself. Dom has been a great teacher and I continue to learn about non-verbal communication every day that I work with him.